Fear : Face It

You know what’s funny? When I was 12, I was absolutely terrified of stepping on stage. Not “nervous” terrified. I mean full-on existential crisis at age twelve terrified. Six months of practice down the drain because the idea of singing in front of strangers felt like I was about to perform open-heart surgery with a plastic spoon.

So there I was. My name gets announced. People clap. And what do I do? I take a step back. Like, literally backwards. Imagine a magician calling your name and you just, reverse out of existence. That was me.

But then the kid next to me pushed me forward. Probably out of spite, or maybe destiny disguised as peer pressure. Suddenly the spotlight hits me, and here’s the thing no one tells you: when you’re blinded by that one giant light, you can’t actually see the crowd. Poof. Gone. Just me, a mic, and my twelve-year-old panic attack.

And honestly? That was a relief. Because if I couldn’t see them, maybe they couldn’t see me either. (Spoiler: that’s not how physics works.)

So I open my mouth, clear my throat, and sing my first note. And it is…horrible. Like, so bad my ancestors probably covered their ears. But then something wild happened: the audience clapped. Maybe out of politeness, maybe out of pity, maybe just to speed up the torture but still, they clapped. And in that moment, I realized: I had survived. My worst nightmare had happened, and I didn’t die.

That’s the thing about fear. It’s this scam artist living rent-free in your head. It convinces you not to try, not to step forward, not to sing your first bad note. But here’s the punchline: once you actually do the thing? Fear doesn’t vanish, it just gets embarrassed. It sulks in the corner while you stand there, a little shaky but still alive.

For me, it was stage fright. Still is, honestly. Every time I step on stage, my brain screams, “We’re all gonna die!” But every time I ignore it, the scream gets quieter. And maybe that’s the real deal.

So yeah, the performance was terrible. The claps were probably charity. But you know what? I’d rather bomb under the spotlight than never step into it at all.